Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Emergence of Thought

By Laurie Epps
No matter how many books I read on writing, I keep seeing the same hint. Journal, or free-writing is the pathway to greatness. But due to my own artistic expectations, sometimes I don't feel the greatness. That is when things like doubt, boredom, the fly on the wall, or your kid in the next room seem to be louder than ever before, demanding my attention and calling me. There are days that I would swear that those feelings of doubt and insecurity are sticky out their tongue at me.
Recently, I read this essay called "Artistic Stability" by Natalie Goldberg in her book, Writing Down the Bones. As a writer, she shares her own process. Goldberg is a huge fan of journaling, or free-writing, and fills up spiral notebooks, one after the other with her thoughts and/or mind chatter of the day. I've been journaling myself since I was ten or so and can really relate to this part of her process.

These spiral notebooks have filled Goldberg's attic or storage collecting dust over the years. As for me, I'm a sucker for journals. I have to buy a notebook that looks pretty. If it doesn't, then it is a spiral that makes me laugh at myself. I'm a strong believer in not taking yourself too seriously. But still, my process is very similar.

Goldberg's friend took the time to read some of her musings. Instead of being bashed for her insecurities, her friend instead said it gave her hope. She assured Goldberg that if all that junk was going on in her head, there was hope for her.

That got me to thinking, and I wrote a response to it that I'd like to share with all of you. Instead of hope, it reminded me that I'm a fraud. She wrote more bad stuff than good stuff, which means probably I do that too. What is worse, is sometimes you're on a roll with nothing but junk pouring out. How do you keep a trend like that from setting in?

As a response, I decided to just write and not analyze it. The hard thing about going to college, and any other kind of deadline is sometimes you have nothing but junk pouring out. You feel like a fraud. You are writing junk, and you know it's junk. Your professors or your editors know it's junk. Therefore, your readers know it is junk. In the case of college, you get graded like it's junk. Writing can be hard work, because it's everything you are, and embodies everything you aren't too.

Have you ever had this happen? How did you overcome it? Let's be honest, even if you're brilliant, your work is going to have a bad day once and a while.  If you didn't overcome it initially, can you look back now and find some lesson you learned from it? Please share it with us. Join the conversation.

Note: This is a prequel to my new column Monday Morning Book Club, that kicks off Monday, May 6, 2013. Check out my blog to learn more.



Laurie Epps is a non-fiction author, essayist, editor, and poet living in Anderson, South Carolina. A seeker of beauty, her is dream is to travel the world one day and tell their many stories. To read more of Laurie's stories visit her Monday Morning Book Club column dedicated to writers everywhere, or her Thoughtful Thursday column dedicated to the art of Poetry at: http://1writerlaurieepps.blogspot.com

8 comments:

  1. I love this, Laurie! THIS is definitely not junk. :) Very thought-provoking, useful, valuable information. Thank you for sharing this. I look forward to your posts.

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    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement Katie! I have so many ideas for blogs, books we could talk about, and I am starting to write them all down for the future. Books are like long lost friends for me, so when I am depressed, I head to the local library or bookstore. I think I am going to begin to share some of my musings with all my online friends. Thanks for stopping by.
      Blessings,
      Laurie

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  2. Interesting. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. I journal a little each day in my Jesus Calling Devotional. Have been since October 2009 and it's interesting to see what was going on in a particular day 3-4 years ago.

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    1. Sounds awesome Patricia! Maybe you could make your reflections about Jesus Calling a column too! Just something to think about.... I know in this life, we are always going through something, and I have to purge out the junk just to be able to think sometimes. It is a big part of my process. I tried to short-change this part of my process this past semester to an almost fatalistic end. So after this, I am definitely stocking up on journals this summer! I taught myself something with this process too.
      Blessings,
      Laurie

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  3. I've never been big on journalling. I consider myself more of a note-taker, and I have my share of spiral-bound notebooks. Something I've started doing is getting a big notebook-style planner, and using that as a combination journal/planner. It's amazing the "junk" I've recorded over the years!
    Thanks, Laurie!

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    1. Dear Susan, Some of this is subjective, in my understanding note-taking is a form a journaling. But either way, it helps me to get things down and out on paper. Otherwise, I am a bit of both keeping a journal and note-taking and lets not get into planning! Oh that reminds me, I need a new planner too. Wow, this is becoming an expensive blog. All kidding aside, just keep doing what you are doing. An idea for you is to write responses to some of your notes. You might surprise yourself with what you find.
      Blessings,
      Laurie

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  4. Thank you Laurie for being real! No one can write or paint or dazzle brilliance all the time. We have to get the ramble on the page, the good, bad, ugly and the sparkling thoughts! I think of it like mining for gold, it is there, but we must keep searching and looking. Yes, sifting through the dust ;D

    Nice to meet you!
    I really like this post~
    Well Done





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  5. Hi Ella, I love the feeling when something beautiful emerges out of the rubble, like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes. It also makes for the best writing, and the best moments of life. So rewarding, and motivates me to keep writing. Keep the faith, and a pen handy.
    Blessings,
    Laurie Epps

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